May Storyteller: Where Love Grows: A story about a lifelong friendship.

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Dear Reader,

Jenn will be gone for 20 years when the summer of 2026 rolls around.  That seems impossible.  My biggest fear after her passing never happened.  I was afraid that one day I would wake up and realize that I hadn’t thought about her the day before. I think of her all the time, and so do her siblings.  We still laugh at her antics, and I still hear stories about her from her sisters and brother that I have never heard before. Her friends have stayed a part of our lives as well.  I am writing today about one very special friend and the power of that friendship 

Jenn and Erin first met one summer in their Middle School years. I received a call from the school asking if we could be a buddy family for a new student. Jenn and I readily agreed.  Erin was that new student. We welcomed her into our family, and she and Jenn became great friends.  

These two young women spent their growing-up years sharing their secrets, holding each other up when times were hard, giggling, arguing, dieting, studying, listening to country music, looking for cowboys and future husbands, traveling to concerts, and dreaming, always dreaming.  They loved wearing flip flops and painted their toenails a perpetual powder blue.  They were tough and feminine at the same time, the ultimate modern women of the new century.  Their friendship endured throughout their college years and beyond. They were two very different people who shared a common past and bright hopes for the future.  They gave each other the freedom to be themselves while cherishing the moments they shared.

When Jenn’s boyfriend proposed, she called to tell Erin, who impulsively jumped in her car and made the 9 1/2 hour drive from New Orleans to Jacksonville, Florida, where Jenn was living at the time.  Erin stopped to pick up bridal magazines along the way so they could begin planning right away.  

Jenn was never to marry, though the plans for her wedding were grand.  She was diagnosed with cancer at age 24 and left us at 26. In true princess form (for Jenn was a true princess!), she asked that between family and friends, she would never spend one day alone during her illness, and she never did.  For the 18 months that Jenn was in and out of the hospital, there was always someone at her side, whether it was her dad, me, her sisters and brother, her fianceé, her many wonderful friends, grandparents, and aunts.  We were always with her.  Erin was one of the most determined to keep that promise to Jenn.  She shared her laughter, joy, tears, and hopes with Jenn and all of us.  When Jenn passed, we were all deeply shaken, including Erin.  We all held each other up.  Over the years, we stayed in touch, but life’s ebbs and flows caused us to drift from each other. 

Last weekend, almost twenty years later, Erin married her sweetheart.  She invited our family to her wedding.  I made the trip from St. Louis. I knew it would be a beautiful and heart-wrenching experience. It was so important to be there to honor the love and friendship that Jenn and Erin shared.  

When I arrived at the wedding, so many of the guests were friends of Jenn from their school years.  It had been two decades since we had seen each other, and they were now busy parents, professionals, and still close friends.  There were lots of hugs, expressions of love, and brief memories shared.  One of these friends handed me an envelope from Erin, letting me know that Erin wanted me to have and read it before the ceremony began.  I found a seat quietly and opened her letter.  As I read, her words helped to fill that hole in my heart that only love can reach.  She wrote:

It means the world to me to know that Jenn is here through you.  I have been spending a lot of time recently talking to our girl.  She is ever present in my decision-making, and she always steers me toward the most courageous and ethically sound choices.  

Whenever I do anything big, or travel, I always take my shoes off and stand barefoot because I think that Jenn can feel the place too. So, I am getting married barefoot today so she can take this walk with me.  Love you always…

Friendships like Jenn and Erin’s are to be envied.  They are life’s crowning glories.  Life can be hard, even cruel sometimes, but love always finds a way to shine through, and the friendships we make are gifts from God, reminding us that He cherishes each of us.  Jenn shined brightly in each of our hearts that day, and it was easy to believe that she took that barefoot walk with Erin.  The power of a sweet and enduring friendship lifted us all.  Love never forgets. 

Thank you for being a part of my story.

Until next time,

Merry

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I'll be back in the studio recording a new Storyteller LIVE soon! Meanwhile, check out my first episode with Fr. Will Hood. We engage in a deeply personal conversation about how to talk to God amidst unimaginable loss.

We share the painful experience of losing a child and discuss carrying that grief, the role of faith in healing, and dealing with anger, numbness, and hope. Fr. Will candidly states, “Everybody thinks you’re a hero when you distract yourself with work… and you're rotting away on the inside.” This conversation covers grief, love, resilience, and the slow journey to peace. Thank you, Fr. Will, for sharing your story and inspiring hope. Listen to "How Do You Talk to God?" today.

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